Shenanigans....Chicanery

We’ve had some fun this year, we’ve picked some winners, and plenty of losers, talked some trash, stumped for our alma maters, and done what all good college football fans do. But that was just the regular season. Because the Powers That Be hate us, fun, money, and competition, we still have a bowl system. So let’s pick some bowls. Which bowls you ask? ALL OF THE BOWLS. That’s right kids, we’re gonna do the damn thing up big. This will consist of 3 rounds. The first round, the page you are currently reading, will cover all the bowls starting on Saturday 12/17 through Friday 12/30. These games will be worth 1 point a piece, because most of us haven’t seen more than 10 minutes of play this year from most of these teams. Round 2 will be all of the bowls that take place starting Saturday 12/31 that are not BCS bowls. These games, since they are “better” bowls, will be worth 2 points. Round 3 will obviously be the BCS games and the National Title game. The BCS games will be worth 3 points, the Title game will be 5. The tiebreaker will be your guess for the total points scored in the title game. Why do we need a tiebreaker you ask? Well kids, we’ve been doing this for shits and giggles so far, and it’s fun. But let’s make it interesting. That’s right, Prizes for the winner. PRIZES! Will they be awesome? Nope. I have random gift cards in my house/wallet. I have no clue if they are still valid or have any money on them, but they can be YOURS!! If you didn’t pick during the year, don’t worry, this is a whole new ballgame. Get excited. This should be fun. As always, we pick against the spread. The downside to having to pick so far ahead is the lines may change. HOWEVAH, just pick against the spread I post. Also, make all your picks at once for each round. Some may be tempted to go day by day, don’t be that guy. You will be disqualified for annoying me/making my life harder. LET’S PICK SOME BOWLS WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

12/17 Bowls

Temple (-7) @ Wyoming
New Mexico Bowl (Albuquerque, NM)
Pick: Wyoming

Temple is coached by Steve Addazio. He was miserable  as UF’s OC. That’s enough reason for me to pick against them.

Utah State (-1) @ Ohio
Idaho Potato Bowl (Boise, ID)
Pick Ohio

This game will be played on the Boise blue and is one of the funniest bowl names we have this year (nothing will top TAXSLAYER.COM though). I play as Ohio in my online NCAA 12 dynasty, so my allegiance lies with them. Plus, Ohio is in the MAC, if you’ve watched the MAC this year, you know what sort of point deluging MACtion we are in store for. Rarrrr Bobcats

UL Lafyette @ San Diego State (-5)
New Orleans Bowl (where the hell do you think)
Pick: SDSU

This is an easy pick for several reasons. 1st off SDSU has some of the most badass uniforms in the game. Seriously, their red alternates are EVIL looking, love em. 2nd, LuLaf?? The Ragin Cajuns?? Really? The only thing I know about them is about seemingly every other year growing up they’d be UT’s opening contest and they’d lose by 70 every year. 

12/20

Florida Int’l (-4)@ Marshall
St. Petersburg Bowl (Not the Commie one)
Pick: FIU

FIU is mostly known for one thing and one thing alone, NED. Beyond that, they’ve had a solid 8-4 year under Mario Cristobal. Cristobal is suddenly a hot name in several coaching searches, which makes me wary of taking the Panthers should he bail before the game. But, I’ll stick with them, mainly because I’ve seen them play, but not 6-6 Marshall who I just assume sucks.

12/21

Louisiana Tech @ TCU (-10.5)
Poinsettia Bowl (San Diego, CA)
Pick: TCU

Lol are yall for real? This will be hilariously rapey. This line is way too small.

12/22

Arizona State @ Boise State (-14)
Las Vegas Bowl (yep)
Pick: Boise

Well, Arizona State will have Todd Graham as their coach now, because 6-6 at Pitt this year seems like a no brainer to me too. ASU has 3 things going for them: 1) Their QB is mad tall; 2) They go to ASU, so Las Vegas won’t distract them nearly as much as it may a bunch of bros from BFE Idaho; 3) Vontaze Burfict is pretty much one of the monsters from Power Rangers. Hopefully nobody throws a staff in the ground to make him 30 stories tall, but he’s still super scary at regular size. He might rip Kellen Moore’s head off, which is really ASU’s only chance in this game. Boise’s way better, this shouldn’t be close unless their is a QB murder.

12/24

Nevada @ Southern Mississippi (-6.5)
Hawaii Bowl (Honolulu, HI)
Pick: SoMISS

Hey, if USM is good enough to beat the Cougs and dumb enough to cost themselves millions of dollars, they’ve gotta be pretty good at the footballs. An 11-2 regular season would support this as well, so sure, why not?

12/26

North Carolina @ Missouri (-5)
Independence Bowl (Shreveport, LA)
Pick: Mizzou

The TarHeels are busy trying to get used to having a Coach named after a hat. Neither team has been that great, but Mizzou’s 5 losses came to much better teams.

12/27

Western Michigan @ Purdue (-2)
Little Caesar’s Bowl (Detroit, MI)
Pick: WMU

More like Purdont. Nailed it

Louisville @ North Carolina St. (-3)
Belk Bowl (Charlotte, NC)
Pick: NCSt

Belk Bowl? I have no clue what that means. Both of these teams were voraciously mediocre this year. Louisville has Sunny Will Stein, but man did they just look horrible this year. I’ll go with the red NWO for this one.

12/28

Toledo (-3) @ Air Force
Military Bowl (Washington DC)
Pick: Air Force

It’s Air Force vs a not service academy in the Military Bowl. The choice is clear UNLESS YOU HATE AMERICA YOU DAMN DIRTY PINKO

California @ Texas (-3)
Holiday Bowl (San Diego, CA)
Pick: Cal

This will likely end up being a sloppy game. I just don’t trust whichever QB Texas decides to trot out, be it Ash or McCoy. The D has been good, but the O is sloppy. Plus, Cal damn near beat Stanford, they looked good. Maybe they can do that again.

12/29

Notre Dame @ Florida State (-3)
Champs Sports Bowl (Orlando, FL)
Pick: ND

I’m so ready for this game to happen and never have to think about this fucking team again. Tommy Rees has already been named the starter, so, yah, turnovers will happen. I’m guessing Hendrix plays a bunch, but I’ve been wrong about a lot with this team. I just want them to go away. Except for Michael Floyd. I’ll miss you so much Cannon. The only reason I want to watch this is to see you suit up for ND one more time.

Washington @ Baylor (-9)
Alamo Bowl (Remember where this should be)
Pick: Baylor

RGIII aint nothing to fuck with

12/30

Tulsa @ BYU (-3)
Armed Forces Bowl (Dallas)
Pick: Tulsa

No real logic here. BYU has had QB problems all year and their former starter left the school, so we’ll go w/ the other guys.

Rutgers @ Iowa St (-2)
Pinstripe Bowl (NYC)
Pick: ISU

ISU beat Okie St., sure Rutgers is playing near their home, but nobody in New York gives a damn about football, so no benefit there.

Wake Forest @ Miss. St. (-7)
Music City Bowl (Nashville, TN)
Pick: WF

I haven’t picked many dogs and I want to feel less bad about my team.

Iowa @ OU (-14)
Insight Bowl (Tempe, AZ)
Pick: OU

Oklahoma, regardless of how they looked against Okie St., is wayyyyy better than Iowa. This could get ugly.

So there’s the 1st round. Remember, each game is worth one point. I’ll post a score update after these games are all played, expect the Round 2 and Round 3 picks to be up sometime after Christmas. Happy bowling