Shenanigans....Chicanery

Well, well, well, here we go again. All of the remaining bowl games (those starting 12/31) will be featured in this post. Remember, non-BCS games are worth 2 points, BCS games will be worth 3 and the title rematch is a big 5 pointer. Even if you didn’t join in Round 1, a solid performance here could easily bump you over those who were. Plus, there are prizes to be had for free. Ya like free dont ya? I will have a point update for you once all of Round 1’s games have been played, so be on the lookout for that. But for now, to the bowls that have teams you’ve actually heard of/are better than decent at football for the most part.

ROUND 2 GAMES: 2 POINTS EACH

12/31 Bowls

Texas A&M (-10) @ Northwestern
Texas Bowl (Houston)
Pick: Northwestern

I honestly haven’t seen Northwestern play this year. That being said, I assume the Aggies will be winning at halftime. We all know what that means this year. Even though they’ve got a new coach, Sumlin didn’t get to bring Case Keenum with him.

Georgia Tech (-3) @ Utah
Sun Bowl (El Paso, TX)
Pick: GT

I’ve liked the Bees all year. Paul Johnson hates you and all you stand for, but the triple option is a beautiful thing.

Cincinnati @ Vanderbilt (-1.5)
Liberty Bowl (Memphis, TN)
Pick: Cinci

Dear God this is a bowl game?!? Why would anyone want to watch this? Cinci is 9-3 to Vandy’s 6-6. Sure, SEC»»Big East, but, Vandy is Vandy. I’m going to assume that will stay the same.  

Illinois (-3) @ UCLA
Fight Hunger Bowl (San Francisco, CA)
Pick: Ill

Seriously, these bowl games are the worst. I’m picking against UCLA on principle. They are under .500, they should not be here. That they were in the Pac12 title game is a hilarious fluke. I’ve often said if you can’t beat ‘em, hope your opponents cheat and get probation so you can slide in to their spot. It’s a mouthful, but useful.

Virginia @ Auburn (-3)
Chick-Fil-A Bowl (Atlanta, GA)
Pick: Auburn

Mmmmmmm Chick-fil-a. What once was the Peach Bowl has taken the moniker of arguably the greatest fast food chain there is. I can only hope one of the bowl week festivities is a waffle fry eating contest. A contest that would be the greatest thing to take part in ever. As for the game…well, Auburn quite honestly overperformed given what they lost last year. Virginia meanwhile…well, I don’t know. I’ll stick w/ the better conference I guess.

1/2 Bowls

Stupid New Year’s being on a Sunday pushes everything to the 2nd. This is dumb and I don’t like it. I get that they don’t want to go against the NFL, but I still don’t like it. /rant

Houston (-6) @ Penn St.
Ticketcity Bowl (Dallas)
Pick: Houston

Penn State is a program in shambles right now. They can’t find anyone that wants to walk into the clusterfuck going on there right now, unsurprisingly. I feel horrible for the players, and they’ve performed admirably since everything erupted, but I don’t think they have the horses to keep up with an angry Case Keenum.

Michigan St. @ Georgia (-3.5)
Outback Bowl (Tampa, FL)
Pick: Georgia

I don’t care about the game they gave Wisconsin in the Big Ten-Leven-Welve title game, MSU will always be the team that got curbstomped by my horrible team in front of my face earlier this year. I hate the half point, but I’ll take the Dawgs.

Nebraska @ South Carolina (-3)
Capital One Bowl (Orlando, FL)
Pick: Nebraska

I haven’t seen anything telling me Marcus Lattimore will be back in this game. I’ll take the Huskers, even if Taylor Martinez is a turnover waiting to happen.

Ohio St @ Florida (-2)
TAXSLAYER.COM Gator Bowl (Jacksonville, FL)
Pick: Florida

Two big time programs in the midst of terrible years. This also features the best sponsor of the bowl season by a mile. OSU may have the more complete team, and the ace in the hole of the ability to let Urban show up on the sidelines and smirk, shooting daggers into the hearts of Florida players and fans everywhere. That being said, this will be a de facto home game for the Gators, and without Weis at the helm, someone may be smart enough to take the freakishly fast backs UF has and not run them straight into a brick wall for once…Maybe.

1/6 Bowls

Kansas St. @ Arkansas (-8)
Cotton Bowl (Dallas, Tx)
Pick: Arky

The Cotton Bowl is being played at Jerryworld…not the Cotton Bowl. This continues to be utter horseshit. Both of these teams should be in the BCS. Replace Sugar Bowl of UM-VT with these two, and all would be right with the world. The Razorbacks had a hell of a year and have a ton of talent, but due to the “2 per conference” BCS rule, they are stuck outside looking in. KSt had a great year as well, but I think Arkansas is vastly more talented.

1/7 Bowls

SMU @ Pittsburgh (-3.5)
Compass Bowl (Birmingham, AL)
Pick: Pitt

The Panthers have spent the time since the end of the year pulling a dagger out of their hearts after 1st year head coach Todd Graham bolted for Arizona State, leaving only a text message in his wake. Bobby Petrino thinks that’s cold blooded.  They’ve since hired Paul Chryst, Wisconsin’s former OC, and have had a little time to get to know each other. I think the players will rally around each other here. Sorry Ponies, I don’t see a bowl win for ya this year. Especially as players might be miffed at June Jones nearly taking the ASU job before Graham got the chance.

1/8 Bowls

Arkansas State (-1.5) @ Northern Illinois
Godaddy.com Bowl (Mobile, AL)
Pick: NIU

Arky State is another team with a new coach. Hugh Freeze bailed for the Ole Miss job but the Red Wolves pulled off a coup hiring the oft sought after Gus Malzahn from Auburn. His wife’s crazy rant must have reallyyyyyyyy scared people off given the jobs he was linked to or turned down last year to end up here. While Malzahn’s offensive mind can’t be denied, that will come in due time. For now? Hot, sexy, point filled MACtion yall.

That’s all for the lower tiers of the Bowl Alliance. Let’s put the kids to bed and get real.

3 POINT BOWLS

Wisconsin @ Oregon (-6)
Rose Bowl (Pasadena, CA) 1/2
Pick: Oregon

THE GRANDADDY OF THEM ALL (miss u Keith Jackson). This might be my favorite matchup of the bowl season. Both of these teams can score in bunches. While ALL RUSSELL WILSON EVERYTHING gave way to the Monte Ball show towards the end of the year, Wisco is rarely boring and not point averse. Then of course we have the Oregon Ducks. Not only are their point scoring ways well known, they may very well all have the powers of Archangel and/or be part of the Illumniati if their bowl unis are to be believed 

I’ll take the Ducks. Ball is great, and could (kind of) break Barry Sanders’ (incorrect) NCAA record for TDs in a season (short by 5), but Oregon just feels like the better team.

Stanford @ Oklahoma State (-4)
Fiesta Bowl (Glendale, AZ) 1/2
Pick: Okie St

Ahh, the immortal question of how the slighted team responds. Will they come out angry, set to prove a point and possibly steal away a share of the national title thanks to AP voters wanting to get cute? Or will they come out sullen and dejected that they were robbed of a shot at the gold, and not care. I think it will be the former. This is still the biggest game the program has ever had. While the split title talk is usually for not, there was so much anger at the rematch in the title game that if Bama were to win and push the season series to 1-1, especially in an ugly game like round 1, enough writers might actually do it. Andrew Luck is amazing, But I think OSU has more talent overall and more to play for. I’ll take the Fightin’ T.Boones in the bowl I care about the most this year.

Michigan (-3) @ Virginia Tech
Sugar Bowl (New Orleans, LA) 1/3
Pick: VT

This is a travesty. Boise, KSt and Arkansas have to be looking at this game wanting to break something. Michigan’s loss to MSU isn’t terrible I guess, and they did beat Nebraska, but a loss to Iowa? Then you have VT get absolutely murdered in the ACC title game by Clemson, and the next night still make the BCS??? Crazy talk. All of you, crazy talk. That being said, Michigan’s defense can be hilariously bad at times. David Wilson might be the most underrated player in the country. He’s a top caliber RB and should have a field day here. Plus, at the end of the day, fuck Michigan. Signed: Terrible, bitter person

West Virginia @ Clemson (-3)
Orange Bowl (Miami, FL) 1/4
Pick: WVU

Poor Orange Bowl. You are always the worst. I have a hard time seeing many unafilliated people giving much of a damn about this one. My logic here is simple. Picking Clemson is like playing with fire. I’ve done it enough this season. It can be fun for a little bit, til you catch the curtain on fire, then the walls, then the roof, then you are homeless. No thanks.

5 POINT NATIONAL TITLE GAME (TIEBREAKER: PUT GUESS FOR TOTAL POINTS)

Alabama @ LSU (-1)
BCS Title Game (New Orleans, LA) 1/9
Pick: LSU
Tiebreaker total pick: 38

I don’t think we get the struggle for scoring we saw in the first time. At least I hope we don’t. As I said a few weeks ago lamenting the rematch, the worst part of this game is it’s almost impossible to argue with the fact that these are the 2 best teams in the country. While I’d much rather have a system where Bama and Okie State play each other to prove it, I don’t think there’s too much question. I think LSU takes it 24-14. Bama will travel well, but come on, NO is an LSU home game. Special Teams will be the key here. Both defenses are amazing, and my man crush on Trent Richardson remains strong, but I think LSU has better scoring ability on O, D and special teams. The Honey Badger, as always, doesn’t care, I’m just hoping he will make it a little more enjoyable this time.

REMINDER, PUT YOUR GUESS FOR THE TOTAL NUMBER OF POINTS SCORED IN THE GAME FOR THE TIEBREAKER

There you have it kids. All of the bowls are yours for the picking. Remember, there are wonderful prizes waiting for the winner. If I win, you all get nothing, so if you come at the king you best not miss. Who knows what sort of treasures await the winner. Just know they will be awesome*.

*They may not be all that awesome. It’s an incredibly loose term.

Good luck with your picks and a Happy New Year to you all.