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Shenanigans....Chicanery

You've gotta be smart, I mean, you've got a sportscoat
Jun 7 '11

Sony E3 Presser via this guy

Yall know the drill by now. I’ve already been through the XBOX presser here, expect the same set up here, but Sony flavored. As for what I expect, this could be interesting. First, Sony has to deal with all the PSN shenanigans that have taken place w/ the hacks that have taken place. They’ve gotten murdered lately, especially having gone down the week that Portal 2, Mortal Kombat, and Socom 4, all huge multiplayer games, dropped. After that, I can’t wait for some Uncharted 3 info. Sadly a lot of this will likely be on the NGP, and I just don’t care about portables. We’ll see though, some rumors make it sound like this sucker is a ps3 in a can pretty much. Even worse, I’m hoping we don’t have to spend the whole time hearing about 3D like last year. Hard to blame Sony, one of the biggest 3D TV producers around, from this type of nepotism though. Plus, there’s always Move (dismissive hand wank). I’m just hoping for some Kevin Butler. If Sony is smart, he would be a good tool for the PSN apology, but who knows. Jump around for the livemind.

  • Looooooong video intro, that is apparently in 3D for those there. Most of it is games that have already been released, but a few seem to be new/soon to be released.
  • Jack Tretton, Sony Entertainment’s Prez/CEO comes out to kick things off. Safe bet has to be on apology time off the bat right? Sure enough, he goes right into it after welcoming everyone. Smart call. Sucks to start off with something like this, but pretty much have to. Good joke off the bat saying you’re welcome to all the media members in the room. But then a solid apology. Good to see someone in his position show some genuine remorse for a prettyyyyy bad fuck up.
  • Entertainment stuff on PS3 ala Netflix, MLB, etc. not much new
  • Uncharted time, hellllllll yes. Starts out with Drake on a boat in the middle of a rowdy storm. Pretty sure this is going to get awesome quick. You can see the boat tossing and Drake have to fight against it to move. I believe this to be in-game engine, as with many games shown this year, no-HUD of any kind. I go back and forth on the thoughts of this. Part of me loves it for the way it immerses you in the game. The other part hates not knowing things like ammo. Lots of stealth takedowns by the protagonist through the boat. Graphics look phenomenal, clearly. Drake, as he’s wont to to, gets himself caught in a corner and then breaches a huge hole in the hull of the boat causing a flood during a gunfight. God this game will own so hard. I look at these games as what Tomb Raider tried to be, but fun and with controls that work. Also see Indiana Jones the video game. This game is not optional. Multiplayer beta starts late June. Now a new trailer, in 3D for the folks there yippieeeeee. But seriously, watch this trailer and tell me you don’t want to play this game. October and November are going to be painfully stacked w/ games.
  • Resistance 3 is up next. Sony always seemed to want this to be their Halo, but it didn’t ever seem to catch on. I’ve never played the 1st 2, so I can’t speak too much on them. Hey an FPS with a HUD again! What can I say, I like info. Rowdy alien battle in a pretty post apocalyptic looking St. Louis. There is a looooooooot of stuff going on at once. Apparetnly you also have the gun from Eraser in this game. The guy playing sure does like leaving enemies he could kill alive, that’s just poor video game logic kids. Some crazy looking alien monsters show up, a huge one shows up, and that’s the end of it before anything really goes down. Interesting, but doesn’t strike me as a must have. Anyone played the 1st 2? Not Ah, also a bundle coming with move and the game, you get one of each controller, the camera, a sharpshooter (big plastic gun holster thing) for PS Move and the game for $150.
  •  God of War origins collection gets announced. This will bring the 2 GOW PSP games for the PS3. Also a collection of ICO and Shadow of the Colossus for PS3. I’ve heard those are amazing, but have literally no clue what they are. 
  • "We’re gonna break the mold for 3d Pricing" I’m listening…1st off, a PS3 branded 3D display. 24 inch display that(quits listening). Take that back, 2 people can play at once that get individual full screen images, not just a split screen. That sounds fucking awesome. Still, so small toto. As always, size matters. 2nd peripheral is cheaper 3d glasses. That’s a necessity. The monitor, with a pair of their classes, an HDMI cable and Resistance 3 is worth……….$499. Honestly, that’s not a bad price point. *TANGENT TIME* As I said, I’m completely down on 3D gaming/tv on the whole. I don’t think it will work. Until tech gets to a point where glasses aren’t a necessity and more things are made for it, it’s a useless back of the box feature that allows you to triple the MSRP. As of now, so little things are broadcast in 3D that it can’t be worth it. The things that are, like MAJOR sporting events ala NCAA Championship game or World Cup finals, are things you’d like to watch with a bunch of people. Sadly, that means you need tons of glasses. It’s just not viable at this point. /tangent Glasses on their own are only $69.99, again, better than the $150-300 typical now, but still, read the tangent. I’ll say this though, the idea of the "full split screen" is very intriguing.
  • 2K sports bros out now. All I want to hear is how they could possibly top NBA 2k11 w/ 2k12. At least 50% of my gaming is spent on sports games. NBA 2k11 may have been the greatest sports game of all time. The typical modes were practically flawless, but the Jordan stuff was heads and shoulders above anything I’ve ever seen. This was also in a year with no competition due to EA folding up NBA Elite. I feel safe saying I don’t need another NBA game ever again, but let’s see what they got. They lead with “NBA On the Move” I don’t know what that means. What do they start with? Move integration…it’s all goofy move integration. Fuck you 2K. There better be more. Wow, bringing out Kobe, swag. I mean, I hate the guy, but good pull. HAHAHAHAHAHA, first time Kobe takes the move stick he passes to himself, takes a shot in a double team and gets blocked. Gets it back, drives into a triple team, and runs out of bounds. This is a combo of the controls being stupid and Kobe being hilarious. Clearly they didn’t teach Kobe how to use this. This is getting worse as it goes. And nothing else. Wow 2k, guess I wont be worried about 2k11. This genuinely makes me sad.
  • Now something called Medieval Moves from the maker of Sports Champions, a PS Move game…Why won’t anyone just make a regular damn game? #dismissivehandwank
  • Now an Infamous 2 trailer. The game looks awesome, but it comes out tomorrow. Most of this stuff we’ve seen already, but yah, this game looks siiiiiiick. The 1st one was awesome. If you have a ps3 and haven’t tried it, it’s one of the free “welcome back” games that Sony is offering after all the hacks. Definitely get it. Trust me.
  • A game called Starhawk is next. Apparently it’s a sequel to Warhawk, an online only game that came out early on but was panned pretty hard because it was forced to use sixaxis. All CG trailer, so nothing really learned.
  • Now bringing back a “family friendly franchise even hardcore gamers couldn’t put down.” I have no clue. New Sly Cooper game. Never played one, this means nothing to me. But if you like those, you’ve got a new one called Thieves in Time coming in 2012.
  • Now some Iceland bro is talking about something called Dust 514. It’s so sad, he keeps pausing for applause, and doesn’t get them. Poor Iceland bro. Apparently this is related to Eve online, making it easier to not care. Maybe the trailer will change my mind? Umm,sure? Whatevs.
  • Bioshock Infinite trailer. Looks good, but could never get into those games. Too much stuff jumping out to startle you in the dark. I hate that shit. I feel like I should give it another chance. Infinite looks amazing though. I may have to give it another chance. Wait, now it’s on NGP? I’m confused. And if you get it you somehow get the original on the same disk… Ok, I’m listening.
  • Saints Row 3 also gets something exclusive now. They have an “exclusive game mode.”
  • Star Trek is getting a “coop action adventure” that is fully compatible by PS Move, that includes a phaser peripheral apparently. It’s from Paramount though, how good could it be?
  • EA exclusives? I’m listening. 1) SSX Gets an exclusive level on Mt Fuji. Ok. 2) Need For Speed: The Run gets a special blu-ray w/ 7 special supercars, including a Bugatti Veyron. 3) Battlefield 3…ok, this could be good. Battlefield 1943 will be included on the disk. Eh, I mean, that’s cool, no doubt, buuut I’m not worried about it. Not enough to switch me from 360’s multiplayer.
  • NGP time…..mehhhhhhhhhhhhhh
  • PS Vita….we already knew that was the name, but now it’s official. Damn you people love stupid names.
  • Two actual thumbsticks, which is huge compared to the iPhone, I always lose it on the fake sticks, 5 inch, multi touch OLED screen, front/back touchpads, sixaxis motion control and front/back cameras for augmented reality.  There is some awesome tech in this bad boy, I’ll give em that. 3g and wifi, and since they need the fastest service around they’re exclusively with…AT&T. I shit you not, the crowd started to laugh, then boo. That was amazing. Credit to Kaz, he was not fazed. 
  • A new feature called Party. This lets you voice chat regardless of where you are and what you’re playing. Pretty sweet. They also have something called Near that lets you recommend stuff to people or something? Whatever
  • Holy shit! They’re showing an Uncharted game on Vita, and it looks, well, amazing. I can’t believe they are getting those graphics out of a handheld. They also show that you can do regular control as well as doing QTE’s with the touchpad. They incorporate Vita’s controls with the touchpad/motion control when it makes sense according to the dev. Finally, somebody gets it.
  • Here’s an RPG called Ruin from San Diego Studios for Vita. The dude giving the presentation is having a lot of trouble breathing, making the whole thing very awkward. Lots of hack n slash. Meh, bored /ff. Ok, i was only doing the 15 second button, and you can switch to your ps3 and continue where you were. Ok, that’s pretty awesome. Cloud based saves get it done. Yayyyyy Cloud
  • Now a new Modnation Racers for PS Vita. Not a port the dev claims vehemently. The touch screens make for easy track creation. It does look very simple, so that’s pretty cool. Again, the graphics for this game, which is deceptive as it was real cartoony, but they look as good as it did on PS3. 
  • Now a Little Big Planet Vita version. You know exactly what you are getting here. Still, I’ve gotta hand it to them, the graphics are fucking amazing on this thing. The real question is how much this bad boy will cost. This is some alien technology from the future.
  • WOW Street Fighter X Tekken on PS Vita? That’s interesting. Capcom Asian bro is out here in a hilarious shirt to talk to us with a translator. Even more random, Cole, the hero from Infamous will be a character in the game. Crazians man. Damn, and Cole is a badass in the game too. The graphics again look phenomenal. As much as I said I didn’t care about this whole handheld business, this stuff looks pretty amazing. My problem with it is, I have an iPhone. I have tons of games on it that all cost a buck a piece. That’s a tough thing to comabt right now.
  • Now It’s time for a montage. Some Uncharted again, a flying/racing game. LBP, Some sort of Pixel Junk game, a pool game, Mod Nation Racers, a monster just showed up, now a kung fu fighting game, what looks like a Hot Shots (golf) game, some ninja ownage, a tennis (top spin?), something that looks like dynasty warrios, some side scroller idk what…and end montage.
  • Finally the price. WIFI only is $249, Wifi and 3g is $299. At first, that seems absurd. I mean, shit, you can get a PS3 for $300 now. But still, that’s a lot of tech, and Lord knows Sony isn’t scared of high prices. That may be a good price point.
  • RIDGE RACER BURN BY JACK TRETTON WITH A GRENADE MIME!!!!! Ballgame. For those that don’t know what he’s mocking Kaz for, it’s here for ya. I’m so easily amused.

Hmm, no crazy surprise this year. Still, pretty damn good conference there. Uncharted looks amazing, without a doubt. As against it as I was, and as much as I don’t think I’d never buy a handheld, the NGP/Vita looks pretty damn amazing. What’d yall think about the Sony presser this year? Anything you cant wait for? Something you find ridiculous? Can we at least agree 3d is stupid?

  1. ndeddiemac posted this
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