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Shenanigans....Chicanery

You've gotta be smart, I mean, you've got a sportscoat
Sep 1 '11

Week 1 College Football Picks 2k11

On this glorious day, the opening day of college football, we shall give great thanks and praise to both the College Football Gods and the almighty Gamblor. Yall know the drill by now, each week I will pick 5 games (possibly more if there are just that many great ones) against the spread, because we do not play with skirts here. The 5 games I pick may not always be the best matchups, but could be the 5 I find the most interesting games, or interesting lines. There are also some weeks where a game is early that I can’t use (like TCU @ Baylor tomorrow) or the line isn’t up (like Miami vs Maryland). Sorry if I don’t pick your team. Also, the ND game is pretty much a given. Sorry for partying.

I will typically post these on Thursday evenings and will be using the spread at that given time from bodog.com. I will keep track of my record against both the spread and straight up for posterity. BUT WAIT, you too can play the home game. Down at the bottom of the post, you may either reply if you are a fellow Tumblr user, or use the comment box to make your pick. If you are using the comments make sure you go to the post itself, not the main page of the blog, otherwise the comment thing doesn’t show, it’s weird, I don’t get how interwebz work.

For those who don’t understand spreads, don’t be scared, it’s very simple, and this is the best place to try it. For each game i will list the teams like this: South Florida @ #16 Notre Dame (-11). What that means is that for ND to cover, they have to win by more than 11 points. If they win by exactly 11, it’s called a push. See, simple game, so jump into the deep-end.  Now, if you show up and decide to check a line and it’s different from mine, cool story bro, everyone picks against the posted line I used, because otherwise it makes no sense. Now if you happen to forget and don’t look at these until Saturday afternoon, it’s honor system, just pick the games that haven’t started. As the year goes on I will keep your records as well as mine. Ever wanted to prove how much better at life you are than me? Now is your time friend. So saddle up, cause here…we…go:

South Florida @ #16 Notre Dame (-11)

Pick: Notre Dame

If you read my post yesterday, you will find a long discussion on this game. For the sake of not being a repetitive ass, I’ll just say this: I think ND starts slow, half time has ND with a close lead, who then work into their offensive groove in the 2nd half to win handily.

#3 Oregon (-4) @ #4 LSU (at Jerryworld in Dallas, Tx)

Pick: Oregon

What a week one matchup. Oregon is fresh off a National Title shot and a whole lot of controversy that is still pending thanks to a man named Will Lyles and hilariously old and expensive recruiting reports. Meanwhile, LSU is in the midst of dealing with a group of players, including SR QB Jordan Jefferson, getting into a barfight that concluded with the signal caller kicking a Marine in the head…allegedly.

This likely forces Jarret Lee into the starting QB spot for the Tigers. With Les Miles at the helm, it’s impossible to predict anything besides the fact that shenanigans will happen. Sadly, Lee is not who you want with the wheel. I think The Michael James and the rest of the kevlar clad Ducks (no, for reals, kevlar in the unis via) will take this game despite playing a de facto home game in Dallas.

#5 Boise St. (-3.5) @ #19 Georgia (in Atlanta)

Pick: Boise St.

Poor Georgia, they’ve had a ton of injuries this offseason, including yet another season ender to OT Trinton Sturdivant after tearing another ACL. Their RB’s have been completely depleted, leaving the job to Blue Chip recruit Isiaih Crowell. If that name sounds familiar to you, it should, because he took the crown from Trent Richardson of best school declaration with an adorable bulldog puppy:

I hate animals, and even I went “bawwwww look at the puppy” when I saw that in February. Dude is also a beast that will immediately contribute for the Dawgs. Sadly for them, I don’t think they have enough to keep up with Kellen Moore’s offense.

Minnesota @ #25 USC(-24)

Pick: Minnesota cover

How much is this due to Southern Cal hatred? Probably a lot. But USC had their Secondary Coach quit today and CBSSports said it’s due to links with the aforementioned Will Lyles. You think that won’t provide distractions on Saturday? Minnesota is introducing brand new coach Jerry Kill on Saturday, a name that clearly takes at least 7 off the board of the other team. USC clearly wins this game, but I think maybe, just maybe Minnesota is ready to turn things around. Do they have the offense, no, but their D just might be able to put some stops up. (Get pumped Ben!)

Akron @ #18 Ohio St. (-34)

Pick: Akron cover

Here’s another big line that amuses me. Ohio State was in the middle of the biggest offseason controversy until they got swept away by the hurricane in Miami (see what I did there?!?!). Tons of players are suspended, Jim Tressel got the heave ho, and Terrell Pryor decided to take his ball and go home…or to Oakland, whatever, you get me. OSU will win this game, don’t fret Ohibros. The question for me is can they cover a 5 TD spread? 5? Even at full strength I’d have trouble picking a Tresselball team to cover 34. So with attrition, adjusting to new scheme, and trying to play LIKE A BAUS, I see this around the 24-28 mark.

So there you have it kids. Please play along, back in the day I was told it’s wrong to play with yourself.

(Gimber’s picks because he couldn’t comment at the time: ND, Oregon, BSU, SC, Akron)

  1. leeleeleelee said: PICK THE SMU A&M GAME YOU WORTHLESS FUCK!!!
  2. ndeddiemac posted this
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